Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
