I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
