Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
