Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
