No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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