There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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