So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
