I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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