To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
