Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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