I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
