moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
