we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
