Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize