You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
