Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
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thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
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Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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