Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
