So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
