2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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