i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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