I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
