Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
