If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Drake has all the answers
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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