when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
