Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
