problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
