Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
