I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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