Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
