I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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