Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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