I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
