how do flat chested girls get laid?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
