so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
