I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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