weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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