I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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