I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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