all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
