ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
