we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
not ubering you a puppy
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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