The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
