we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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