When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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