She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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