I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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