would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
