Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
