i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
