I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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