Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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