you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
