She said her name was "party"
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
