Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
