And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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