You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
