how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize