Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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