i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
