the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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